[Intro]
[Verse 1]
I summoned what I should have feared
A Lord of Pit with bottomless years
I had no more sacrifices left
And he was looking at my chest
So I said sir, I have an offer
Spare the wizard, keep the cook
Seven years and seven days of suppers
Bound in flame, signed in a book
[Pre-Chorus]
You don't get out of the Abyss
By praying to a god
You get out with a sharp blade,
A saute pan, and a nod
[Chorus]
I cook or I am cooked
That's the recipe that worked
Stuff the thallid in the gargoyle
Lay the manticore in the broth
Every fiend that came for dinner
Sat where I had set the cloth
[Verse 2]
Tonight he wants the granite breast
Honey-glazed and dipped in fire
Last night he wanted the gray ogre toes
Stewed in something dark and dire
The thallid mushroom doesn't kill him
But it shows him how to cut
Manticore venom doesn't fell him
But it shows him how to gut
And every dish I serve to Vincent
Knits another thread of my escape
[Pre-Chorus]
You don't get out of the Abyss
By begging from a god
You get out with a sharp blade,
A saute pan, and a nod
[Chorus]
I cook or I am cooked
That's the recipe that worked
Stuff the thallid in the gargoyle
Lay the manticore in the broth
Every fiend that came for dinner
Sat where I had set the cloth
[Bridge]
Twenty copies of my book
Bought by Vincent and my mother
Sold for nothing, served for nothing
Until a courier above
Carried one across the threshold
And the overworld learned my name
Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar
Thirteen syllables of flame
[Final Chorus]
I cooked, I was not cooked
That's the recipe that won
Stuff the thallid in the gargoyle
Lay the manticore in the broth
Every fiend that came for dinner
Sat where I had set the cloth
The Underworld remembered who I served
The overworld remembered what I served
And I remembered I was free
And I wrote the book
And I bound the book
And the book remembers me
[Outro]
Recipes for monsters.
By a monster who survived.
